One Of Those Days

Listening: Within A Room Somewhere - Sixpence None the Richer

I breathe the mist
Floating about the stars
I can caress with velvet hands
I breathe the mist
Floating within without
This pen, this pen between my fingers.

Escape the pain
Within a room somewhere
Escape the pain
So deep inside the soul
I have no key,
No map to find.

Ever get one of those times when you have so many reasons to be happy and so many reasons to be sad that you can't decide which of the two you are, and eventually you settle into a kind of in-between state in which you function, alternating between both emotions but not really settling into either one, and only ending up feeling dissatisfied with everything in general?

This is one of those days for me.

On the one hand, I have exceptional friends. Exceptional friends with whom I would love to spend every moment of my time if it were conceivably possible. I have friends whom I have had for years, and many of whom I have only met in the last few months, who mean just as much to me. I have the prospect of spending quality time with these friends this weekend, playing WarioWare and screaming at each other and stuff. In the academic perspective, I am on top of all my school work this semester and eagerly anticipating getting the drop on my GPA. In the context of work, I have freed up my Sundays for work or relaxation, whatever comes first, which is a major advantage in regards to my psyche. I am coming up with more ideas every day for my novel, I am perilously close to finishing a short story I have been working on for nearly two years, and I am getting my hair cut next Thursday. Life is good for me right now.

And still I cannot shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.

Something tells me this is GLP--Good Life Paranoia--the same kind of ridiculous panicking that comes with having a happy relationship or something and then fucking it up by worrying that you're going to fuck it up. But at the same time, this niggling little doubt in the back of my head is worming its way into my psyche, and I'll be damned if it's not setting down roots and making itself quite comfortable, thank you very much.

Wednesday was the first Snow Day of the season. MUN closed all day until 5 o'clock, which meant I still had to go in at 7 for my Psychology class, but by that time I didn't really care. I caught up on sleep and loafing and it generally felt wonderful to have a day off. Also, a midterm and a quiz got bumped to next week, so I don't have to worry about studying too hard until the weekend.

So for all that life is going great right about now, I still feel kind of... bad.

On that note, I have a Classics class in ten minutes which I really should be getting to. Adios, muchachos. Make the most of your day.

Icarus really wants to go learn about Theseus, for some reason.

Surrealistic

Listening: Concrete Sky - Beth Orton

You know you could save me
Save your soul, I'll save some of you
Save my soul, feel like I'm falling
Feel like I'm falling

And there's a concrete sky
Falling from the trees again
And you know now why it's not comin' round too soon
It's harder than a heartbreak too
It's tough enough what love will do.

Aside from what turned out to be a complete blast on Friday night, my weekend has been pretty cut-and-dry. Work and MUN stuff and hanging out with friends. I seem to thrive on this lifestyle! Then again, so does anyone else in MUN who has a job right now. Mlah.

Saturday and Sunday nights I ended up at Colette's house with Matt (and Kevin, on Saturday, for a time). We played WarioWare again, of course, and it was wicked. My group is ridiculous fun to hang out with and play games like this because they get so retardedly animated. (The same can be said of playing WarioWare on Friday night. My God. I still laugh when I remember it.)

Picture, if you will, five people sitting in a living room (me, Cole, Ben, Jam, and Melissa (Melissa is a new addition)), playing the angel group-game on WarioWare, screaming wildly at each other and yanking the Wiimote out of each others hands. (Yes Jam I am talking to you.) Also, Melissa's character's name was Titz, so you can imagine the hilarity that ensued.

Crazy weather hit us on Sunday and still people went to Wal-Mart. With babies! wtf, people. Seriously. It was like -30 and the winds were like 60 and it was a snowstorm. Kids deserve better than that.

My MUN lineup for the week involves a Linguistics test on Friday, as well as a Roman Civ test the same day, and a response paper on Beowulf for Thursday. Bah. At least it wasn't today, like I thought it was. Still, that means I'll have to write it tonight and tomorrow, and tonight my mouth will be all MLAH MLAH because I apparently have a dentist's appointment. Delight. However, I also have a hair appointment for the first. of February. Hurray for finally not having my head be ugleh anymore! Colours will be making their way to my head and my mom is all, "Mlah try a new colour other than red" and I'm like, "Why mess with what works?" but all the same, I leave it open to suggestions. Suggestions!

I am currently testing my uncle's taste in music by sorting through his iTunes and transfering music onto my iPod. I judge his taste sound. David Bowie, the Flaming Lips, Sigur Ros? What is there to complain about?

Icarus will catch you on the flip side.

Purring Pocket Music-Boxes

Listening: So She Dances - Josh Groban

A waltz when she walks in the room
She pulls back the hair from her face
She turns to the window
To sway in the moonlight
Even her shadow has grace.

Wow, been a while. And this one won't be terribly long, as it's 9:20 a.m. and I have a Classics Mythology class to get to in about forty minutes. But I figured I ought to put something up here, just for the sake of doing so.

So, the first two weeks of MUN have gone pretty well so far. With the exception of my getting into the wrong Linguistics class and having to transfer into a different one, and then finding out that this other course has its first exam a week from today. Hurrah. Whatever, it's Phonetics and Phonology, and as long as you know where the tongue goes you're pretty much fine.

Please ignore how suggestive that sounded.

This will be my last week of retard-o Wal-Mart scheduling! I finally got around to having it changed, so now I have Sundays off to do whatever. (Mostly MUN stuff, but also sleeping. Sleeping on Sundays is nice!) My Fridays and Saturdays are still open to booking, but in all honesty, I don't care, because I have just as much fun going out after work. Also, I've had like three Fridays off in a row as of tonight, so I can't really complain.

On the note of tonight, shenanigans are in the works. I am wildly excited, because there is a mad bash planned for Benji's house tonight, and it's going to involve all the group + random MUN people + WarioWare Smooth Moves + Mariokart = squee excited! This will be like the first time that Jamalam will be hanging out with us and I frolic in delight at the prospect of what is to come. I also imagine there will be some molestation of Sake by Colette. And also some other molestation by other parties if we are all lucky enough.

I am squealing with joy right now because I am in the UC by the windows, drinking hot chocolate and watching the snow. It's not retarded snow like we've been having lately, it's pretty snow, the kind people put on postcards and stuff. Romantic snow. Which reminds me: I had a dream the other night. In it, I met this really adorable guy who I was desperately in love with but didn't seem to know I was alive. What seemed like a year later he wandered up and told me that he loved me desperately back, and then a sniper shot him in the temple.

I think it means I'm doomed to spinsterhood.

But, you know. I have the world's best people as friends, so I don't really care.

Icarus is starting to wonder about these dreams.

Clarification

Listening: Sell All My Things - Rosie Thomas

In a little while I'll feel better
Gonna travel 'round the world, gonna see it all
Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I'll feel better miles away from home
Gotta figure some things out.

So sell all my things, I'm not coming home
There's nothing there to keep me there
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer here...

Marchioness
Firestarter
Storm-Catcher
Proprieter of Galaxies
Startographer
Adventurer
Mercenary
Assassin
Necromancress
Thief
Greek Goddess
Empress
Abysson
Dungeon Mistress
Ultimate Investigator
Dervish
Myth Hunter
Chronicler
Technician
Analyst
Scientist
Lullaby Collecter
Music-box Manufacturer
Masquerader
Illusionist
Trickster
Rascal
Gentlewoman Death
Derangel
Dreamhoarder
Mistress of the Infernal Parade
Bluelight Guardian
Conductor of the Firefly Orchestra

*

First day of classes went quite deliciously! Waiting around for classes to start at ten was nothing short of horrendous, until Jimmy and Matty P and Benji turned up and my heart went "Yay!". The boys helped me find my way to the Education building without getting hopelessly lost in the MUNnels. How does one get lost in the MUNnels, you ask? She has to be a Marchioness, and she has to be like "OOOH STAIRS" every time she sees a staircase. Hmmm yes I do that sometimes.

So my Greek and Roman Mythology class was filled with a million billion people, some of which I recognized but didn't know well enough to just go hang out with. That or all the chairs were taken. Seating was pretty sparse. I was sitting there with my arms folded in the almost-back of the class, humming to myself about how boring it was going to be--when suddenly one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen walked into class a bit late, strolled up beside me, and sat in the available seat to my immediate left. I had six small heart attacks just from him sitting there, then two more when I passed a handout to him, and then like nine when he passed another handout to me. I said only two words to him the entire period, and they were "Thank you". Except you need to realize just what that comparison is in my mind.

Julia's Mouth: Thank you.
Julia's Brain: I want to drag you into a dark stairwell and violently rape you.

So Mythology will be a fun course. As I was leaving, I found Stefan, whom I'd somehow overlooked. Don't know how, but whatever--I now have someone I can talk to during boring periods. When I'm not plotting ways to make Gorgeous Mythology Man my own.

Stefan and I met up with Jimmy and wandered off to the UC. Over the course of the next several hours, our crowd ebbed and flowed to include (not all at the same time) myself, Jimmy, Stefan, Benji, Kelilah, Danielle, Cole, Cory, and a new chick named Ellie who is like raw happiness injected intravenously. At the very end of my excruciatingly long break (but made fun by the presence of my friends), we also met up with Jam (Jamalam! <3) and his friend Athena, who I look forward to screaming about birds with and talking to/getting to know (respectively) in English class tomorrow.

So Benji went off to find his girl, Jam and Athena went to brave the Bookstore, and Cory and I scarpered off to find our Roman Civ classroom. We went in lots of circles in the atrium but we eventually found it, and when we opened the door, I was punched in the face by happy. Not only was Cole there, but so was Rae! Turns out I am dumb and she was not in my Mythology class after all, but Roman Civ. Glee! We were a big line of loud happy, me and Rae and Cole and Cory! Also, the guy next to me introduced himself as Matthew. But apparently I get to call him Peach. Which bodes well for me not getting confused, what with the million billion frillion Matthews I know already. Our Roman Civ teacher makes me laugh a lot so things look good in that sector.

I didn't have another class following that, so I resumed last term's tradition--I followed Cole to Biology. Rae came with us and we got to listen to Sally, who has the world's most soothing voice (complete with British accent!). I was kind of drawing pictures for Cole and reading the AU CSI smut Rae was writing gleefully beside me, but it was interesting nonetheless. I believe I will make it a habit to go to that class and keep Cole company and draw and maybe nap sometimes (read "a lot"). Sally makes it impossible not to nap in that class. She is so soothing!

When Cole went home at the end of class, Rae and I hung out in the UC until I had to go home. We spent most of our time throwing around my scarfadillo and screaming about deep sea fangly fish because both of us hate the ocean thanks. Whatever, I now have a date to see Rae first thing in the morning tomorrow for hot chocolate and goodtimes! As we have mutually agreed that we are both addicted to the other, this seems most agreeable.

And sweet God I finally have new boots. Delight of the century! (If you have seen what remains of my shoes, you will understand why.)

Tomorrow is another day of fun and adventures! I am much excited. Funny how the reason I'm so addicted to MUN is not the lifestyle, but rather the friends I meet. I believe Jam said it best when he called his friends "the world's best people. My people."

Quote of the Day

Rae: Weird this much. *holds out hands to express hugeness* But I loves it. I loves it like a shrub.

Icarus feels she should warn you that there will probably be more Quotes of the Day in the coming posts.

Return to the Underground

Listening: My Invitation - Sarah Slean

Damn the angry voice that keeps us quiet
The editor whose work is never done
Keeping pretty words between my teeth
And sweet confessions underneath my tongue.

She has such an awful lot of soldiers
Quite a lovely army, all her own
Night and day they stand before the fortress
Very safe, but very all alone...

The Marchioness has been indisposed as of late. The stress of MUN from the mid-September to mid-December period has degenerated into my being a purely social animal capable of functioning only in the presence of others. As such, I have spent the last month or so just staying out all hours with my wonderful partners-in-crime. Things have been pretty hectic in the interim, and I'm pretty exhausted. Dare I say that I'm actually looking forward to getting back to MUN? It gives my life a somewhat pressing sense of urgency, which it has been lacking as of late. Going back to MUN will actually force me to say, "Oh, maybe I should lie down and get some sleep, rather than staying up until 7 in the morning just for kicks".

I'm retarded. But moving on.

Not much has happened, aside from the usual shenanigans, and an amazing improv comedy show by Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood. I would love to go back, once more, just to experience that side-splitting hilarity consisting of The Mousetrap Game and Grand Theft Rhinocerous.

Matt is planning a ski trip for winter break! Kathleen, Cole, and I all want to go super bad and as I type this I am begging Benji to do the same. Matt's dad apparently offered him the use of a cabin up in Marble Mountain somewhere. Cole's mom didn't scream an outright "No" and my mom is cool with it as long as the weather cooperates, but things won't be solidified until later in the semester. Can't hurt to be a bit excited already, though! ...Can it?

My courses begin at 10 tomorrow morning! *minor panic* No wait. Tomorrow is looking like a wonderful first day to have, for several reasons: one, because I only have two classes with an enormous gap between them for fun and games; two, because they are both my Classics courses; and three, because they are both with people I adore. The first will be Greek and Roman Mythology at 10, and this class will be partaken of with Rae. Then I have an enormous gap in between, followed by Roman Civilization at 2 with none other than Cole.

Yes, Cole. I know you are all horrendously jealous right now, but... y'know. I can't help but feel sorry for you.

In an uncharacteristically short post, I will have to bid my lovelies goodnight. I didn't sleep as well as I hoped last night (going to bed at 7 a.m., me?) so now I'm all "Hm, sleep might be good, yes indeed". So of course the instant I go upstairs I'm gonna be all "Hm, maybe I will write a bit, yes indeed" because I do that. Adieu, my loves.

Icarus would like to be loved for stupid reasons.