Little Nemo Ain't Got Nothin' On Me

Listening: Moon Over Marin - Matthew Good

Unlock my section of the sand
It's fenced off to the water's edge
I clamp a gas mask on my head
On my beach at night
Bathe in my moonlight.

Another tanker's hit the rocks
Abandoned to spill out its guts
The sand is laced with sticky glops

Oh, shimmering moonlight sheen upon
The waves and water clogged with oil
White gases steam up from the soil
On my beach at night
Bathe in my moonlight...

I was sitting at a computer in the MUN library, listening to the new Nightwish album Dark Passion Play on my iPod. I was also engaged in conversation with a woman on MSN. I had no idea who she was or even her real name--the only one she went by was The Poet. Of course, we bonded over our love of Nightwish, and for some reason that's where I was today, sitting in the library talking to her instead of studying.

Man, I love Nightwish, I typed. I would kill to see them live.

Her response was entirely unexpected. Well, I live in Finland, she typed back. Would you like me to send you a ticket to fly here so you can meet them?

Hella yes, I would! All thoughts of shady dealings, including my basic mantra of Be wary of the internets, were completely forgotten. I was getting a goddamn ticket to goddamn Finland! I went right home and packed my bags. Didn't even bother to finish my classes. Nope. Later on I checked and discovered that an e-ticket had, indeed, been reserved for me. I hopped on the plane not long after and sat through a painfully long flight to Finland, alternating between grumbling to myself and nearly vibrating out of my seat with sheer joy at the whole prospect of going.

Finally the plane landed, and before long I found myself standing in the airport with my luggage, looking around in bemusement. "Shit," I said to myself. "I didn't even get the name of the woman I was talking to. How am I supposed to know her when I see her?"

Then a pretty, dark-haired women with blue eyes sauntered up through the crowd and came right to me. "Julia?" she asked, in the sort of manner that illustrated she already knew who I was.

"Um, yes?" I said, bemused. I squinted at her, certain I had seen her before.

She smiled cheerfully at me. "I'm Anette Olzon. Come this way; there's a car waiting for us out front."

Holy shit guys, Anette Olzon! The new lead singer of Nightwish! And she knows my name! WHAT.

I scrambled after her and started yammering questions like a schoolchild on crack. Anette took it in stride, explaining to me that she, in fact, was The Poet, and she'd procured me a ticket to Finland for fun and games. Why? Damned if I know, but I was so not complaining.

This particular Finnish airport was damn huge. By the time we made our way outside into the frigid winter air, Anette and I were chattering like old friends. I even had the guts to dibs "Shotgun" ahead of her when she pointed me in the direction of a relatively normal-looking SUV. When I clambered in the front seat, I found myself faced with yet another familiar figure in the driver's seat.

"You must be Julia," he said.

"Yes," I said, when what I really wanted to do was drool all over myself and tell him that he had pretty eyes.

"It's a pleasure to have you along. I'm Tuomas."

Holy shit guys, Tuomas Holopainen! The keyboardist and primary composer of Nightwish! And he knows my name! WHAT.

"Oh, you're Tuomas," I said in the most geeky manner imaginable. I'm pretty sure my jaw was hanging somewhere down around my knees.

Tuomas looked amused by my lame attempt to be cool, but he didn't say anything. Anette, meanwhile, piled in the back of the SUV with the other three guys in the band (Marco, Emppu, and Jukka) and buckled up. "Where are we going?" I asked as I followed suit.

"No idea," Tuomas replied, gunning the engine. "Hang on."

We had adventures all over Finland. I can't even remember half of them. Tuomas just decided he was going to drive and didn't feel like stopping until one or all of us got hungry. We trekked over the entire country for God only knows how long, completely upon whim.

At one point, Tuomas, who had a tendency to drive somewhere around 40 miles over the speed limit at any given time, was pulled over by a cop. As the officer stepped out of his vehicle and approached the driver's side window, Tuomas abruptly gunned the engine again and we sped off down the road, leaving the officer scrambling for his car.

"What the Christ, Tuomas!" I exploded, looking back out the window in shock.

He didn't seem fazed. "I'm racing him to the highway."

"Why?" I wailed.

"Because in Finland, if you beat a cop to the highway, then he has to let you go with no ticket."

I thought he was lying. This was not the case. Tuomas, of course, hit the highway first; after that, he slowed down a little to let the policeman pass us. I watched with amazement as the cop, looking amused instead of irate, laughed and waved us on.

"Wow," I said. "I am fucking moving to Finland."

After a while of our having myriad adventures, one of the guys in the backseat pointed out, "We should get going. We have a show to do." Tuomas obeyed, adjusting his route and bringing us to a high-class hotel somewhere in the snowy wilderness where the band was supposed to be performing. When we got there, the first thing I noticed was that the place was covered with police cars.

My immediate reaction was panic. "Oh no!" I fretted. "We're going to get arrested!"

"You worry too much," Anette told me, patting me on the head as everyone climbed out of the SUV. Apparently I am equally pettable in every country.

When we got inside, it was to discover that the hotel was in a state of chaos. There was blood, policemen, traumatized staff, and yellow tape all over the otherwise ornate hotel. When Tuomas led the rest of us in a big procession through the doors, a young-looking cop tried to stop us, but an investigator in a tan coat called, "Leave 'em, rookie. They're the band Nightwish! Except for that chick, I have no idea who she is."

Yeah, well, I had no idea why Finnish cops sounded and acted like Americans, but I wasn't saying anything.

Tuomas wasn't paying attention. "What happened here, officer?"

"Triple homicide. No witnesses and no suspects. Nothin' but a helluva lot of blood."

One of the guys in the band cleared his throat. "Um, Tuomas?" he said. "What about our show?"

"Forget the show!" Tuomas thundered, turning back to us with a fire in his eyes. "We've got a mystery to solve! Murderers to catch!"

"I'm confused," I said. "I thought you were musicians."

"Well," said Anette,"we are. But when we aren't playing music, we moonlight as crime stoppers."

Tuomas leaped on me and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me violently. "Come on, Julia! You have to help us solve this murder! We won't be your friends anymore if you don't!"

"This is the best vacation of my entire life," I thought.

Then I woke up.

~*~

Delusional says:
dude, that was pretty awesome
.:Cradle:. [Bone, Body, Flesh, and Blood] says:
Combination of listening to The Poet and the Pendulum too much, watching The Shining, and stressing over my driving test.
.:Cradle:. [Bone, Body, Flesh, and Blood] says:
I think.
Delusional says:
lol. totally.

I am the queen of wicked dreams. No lie.

Icarus hopes that Nightwish doesn't sue her for this. She loves them really a lot.