The Grandest of Adventures

Listening: Mercy - OneRepublic

Angel of mercy
How did you find me
Where did you read my story?

So the weekend just ended. It's 11:30 on a Monday morning and I have two exams tomorrow. But seriously guys, I had a pretty excellent weekend.

On Friday, I was babysitting for a trio of the most energetic children I have ever encountered. They're Americans who moved into my old neighbors' house across the street. The two eldest are dolls, even if they are a bit excitable, but the youngest is an absolute terror. He's four, and spoiled utterly rotten. I'm not sure if his parents are teaching him the whole "Say please and thank you" thing (from what I observed, they're not) but he orders you around like he's a little king. I made the mistake of drawing in my sketchbook, and he demanded that I turn it over to him so that he could draw a robot in it. I only barely managed to divert his attention by pointing out that they had an "inventions" sketchbook and robots are really inventions. Mollified he said, "Go get it for me."

"What do you say?" I asked, hunting for a 'please'.

"Now," he stressed.

I felt like smacking his sass mouth, but, you know, they don't endorse that these days. (I wouldn't hit a kid. It was just frustrating, y'all.) He ended up getting really wound up, throwing a Monopoly game all over the basement, cutting himself by trying to hurl a chair at his older sister, and running around screaming like his eyes were on fire. I finally tried to put him in a time-out, but the little jerk has probably never even heard of that. He refused to stay in place, so I had to hold him on my lap to convince him to stop freaking out. He didn't.

If there's one thing that gets me irate, it's a disobedient child. He tried to sneak a second snack after his first one, and after I told him no, he blatantly disobeyed me. I managed to capture the swiped pickle before he could cram it in his maw, which of course made him sulky as hell, so then he went totally ragdoll on the floor when I tried to bring him up to bed. I carried him up there, which sucked because my asthma was reacting to the big, sheddy dog in the house, and I was really having difficulty breathing. I finally got him to his bed, where he promptly tried to run off again, but I lost my patience.

I can only describe what happened then as being overtaken by my "mom voice". I have only ever been able to pull off this tone in situations of extreme duress caused by young children. Jabbing my finger at him, I snarled in the most savage and incredibly sinister voice, "Listen here. I have had it up to here with your antics. You have been SERIOUSLY TICKING ME OFF all night, and it's time to settle down. Quit it."

And he did. Sure, he glared at me a bit, but I didn't hear a peep out of him for the rest of the time we spent getting ready for bed. He was a doll, even reading me a story and asking me to lie down with him. I felt kind of bad for snapping at him, but in retrospect, he kind of deserved it, and someone had to show the little bastard who was boss. The last time my sister babysat there, he made her cry. I wasn't going to be in that position.

I later tried to reproduce the "mom voice" for my sister, but it didn't work. Proving once again that it's one of my secret unlockable powers.

Anyhow, Saturday rolled around and I went to a shift at my new job. (Oh. Yeah, I have a new job. At the corner store up close by my house, called Jeremiah's. It's small and compact and filled with the nicest people ever. Even my boss Jeremy is spectacular.) I was supposed to be getting trained in by one of the senior employees, a girl named Amy, who was the sweetest person ever and gave me all the details I needed to know but was too afraid to ask Jeremy. Apparently there's a cable designed so that I can plug my iPod up to the radio that pumps through the store. And you're allowed to bring your laptops. And the computer on the cash register has MSN. Small price to pay for learning to make sandwiches!

So I finished up there at 3 pm, went home, and called Rae. The following adventure will be outlined in doodle form. You'll know who's who by the fact that I'm always in the driver's seat and Rae always has both eyes.

We'd been planning an adventure, so I jumped in my car and raced off to pick her up. When I got there, this was what I was greeted with.


Apparently Rae doesn't realize that I am incapable of making plans.


So we drove to Tim Horton's and had chats there.


We decided to go try to find the Rooms. I am fortunate that Rae enjoys my taste in music.

Yes, I am aware that I can't draw cars. Pretend it was done for cartoony quality. Which it was, actually.
So Rae and I got hopelessly lost, looking for the Rooms.


I fucking hate the Village.
So Rae said "Let's go to Signal Hill."


Yeah, I lost the hill. Instead I found the penitentiary and a parking lot. In my defense, it was dark and the roads were all torn up.
So we finally found Signal Hill. Not only was it windy as hell, but also ice-laden.


We had a blast.
So then we decided we were really hungry and craving Asian. We hopped back in my car and started cruising, looking for somewhere to eat. I had my mind set on Taste of Thai. We ended up having to stop for a map. Yes, in my own city. Shut up.

She was reading the map wrong. That's okay because she's a redhead.
So, we found Taste of Thai at long last. And it was worth it.



* They were $8.
So that was my beautiful magical Saturday night with Rae. I was supposed to be hanging out with Cole after that, but it fell through.

Sunday morning, Cole and I went out to breakfast at our favorite joint (Rustlers). It was delicious. So then Colette manned the iPod while I ran around doing errands like picking up eggnog. This was also probably how we ended up driving by the striking East Side Mario's employees, with the Rocky theme pumping through the car and me honking the horn, and Colette leaning out my window yelling "Wooooooo!!"

I love my friends.

Icarus is getting to be a car ninja. Yay!