Excitement and Concern

Listening: Sickest Girl - Bertine Zetlitz

I went to see your brother 'cause he still prefers my frame
And they kept asking who she was and how she knew your name
I get a taste of iron when I breathe
I get a taste of iron when you bleed.
Your brother with the tattooed face, he told me you're in love
You sleepwalk and you say 'Your Grace' like five times in a row
I get a taste of iron when he speaks
I get a taste of iron, and it leaks.

Following the cracks around my shoulders
Jamming up the backdoors of my mind
Flooding down the wicked stuff I told her
I'm the sickest girl you'll ever find.

If you have never heard of Bertine Zetwitz, don't hurt yourself, please. She's a Norwegian singer, which you obviously could not have discerned from her name. If anyone is actually interested in any of the music I make mention of here, may I suggest her Sweet Injections album? Please avoid The Italian Greyhound as long as conceivably possible.

Moving on, my news today is something of a source of both extreme joy and nagging concern. I am addicted to books. As such, one of my favorite hang-outs is Chapters. When my cousin got a job there, I became interested in doing the same. He had been formerly employed by Wal-Mart as well, and was very content to leave it behind. I tried to pass in a resume, but they told me, "Sorry, we only accept applications by monster.ca." What? God forbid they'd actually have to talk to a real person face-to-face. Whatever, I didn't care. I checked job postings every day for several months, praying for an opening.

My wish came true about a week and a half ago. I checked Monster one morning to find that Chapters was hiring people with sales experience. I jumped on that like a southbound train. The morning the application was put up, I sent in my resume, filled out the questionnaire, and sat back to wait for a week.

Last night I finally came home to the news I'd been waiting for. I got home last night to find a note on the countertop, telling me that Chapters had called. This was roughly quarter to twelve at night, so Chapters was closed, of course, therefore making any call I would have made completely useless. I was so eager that I didn't sleep all that well last night. Instead I woke up periodically, checked the clock, and went back to sleep. Yes, that is how badly I want this job.

One of my up-wakings was at around 6:15 a.m., and it was to find that my Dad was up and about, preparing to jaunt off to a golf tournament he's playing in today. I stuck my head out to tell him that I'd gotten a call back from Chapters, and he informed me that he knew, and that apparently my friend Rykea had also gotten a call, but she couldn't go in for the interview because she already has a part time job with creepy stalker Agriculture Canada (which my Dad called the "experimental farm"). I was a little surprised by this, but eventually I just went back to bed. As I did, my Dad called, "You know Chapters is looking to hire full-time, right?"

I knew. And I didn't care.

I woke up about half an hour ago, at 8:30, jarred out of a sound sleep by the sound of my alarm going off. (Don't ask me why I set it. I actually don't remember.) The effects of that alarm still haven't quite worn off. I'm still jittery and shaky, and I'm trying to chase off this feeling of nausea that accompanied it. I actually don't know why I feel so lousy, but I do. Anyway, back to the task at hand.

I called the number Chapters left for me, and the woman I was looking for picked up right away. When I told her who I was, she said, "We'd like you to come in for a group interview!"

Shit, I thought.

She proceeded to explain to me just what a group interview was, as I'd never been to one before, and throughout the whole thing, all I could think of was Benji's group interview at American Eagle. It doesn't sound like this one is going to be quite as bad as that one was, as there will be a maximum of about five people, but still I can't help but be concerned. I was really counting on a one-on-one interview, which I would be distinctly better at, I believe (not that I have that much experience). The woman on the phone assured me that the idea was to see how the applicants respond in a group and to create a more "relaxed interview", but I, personally, am probably going to be even more nervous with a group interview than a one-on-one. A group interview for me sort of just computes as having to prove that you're not only the right person for the job, but you're better than applicants A, B, C, and D, all of whom will be sitting only about five feet away at all times.

So while I feel very off-put indeed at the moment, I don't intend to admit defeat that easily. I've wanted to work in Chapters ever since it opened in town, I have the experience in retail and customer service necessary to secure a position, and I think if I don't get out of Wal-Mart soon, I may kill myself. Besides, I actually react really well in groups. If I can go in there, be calm and sociable and generally good-tempered as I usually am, I think that I can hopefully convey how eager I am to work there.

The interview is tomorrow morning at 11 a.m. Already I'm trying to decide what to wear. I have a doctor's appointment and a five-hour shift at work tonight, which already pales in comparison to this large, new entity of a problem. If you have any well-wishes, advice, or both, please leave them for me. It would really be appreciated, and I get this feeling that I'm going to need them.

Icarus is going upstairs to write a bit and calm the hell down.